I met up with Modern Marriage Coach Maggie Reyes this week to talk about the challenges and success first-generation entrepreneurs face in their marriages. As an author, coach, and married woman herself, Maggie gave me incredible insights into her coaching process and the essential communication framework she uses with all of her clients.
In this podcast, Maggie and I cover:
- How romantic partnerships evolve as the entrepreneurs grow into their life missions
- Reestablishing expectations for both partners in a relationship
- Self validation vs partner support
- Balancing different levels of risk aversion
- Preparing for conversations about investing, money, and debt
- Maggie’s soul-centered communication framework
A necessary element of Maggie’s communication framework involves looking at every angle of a problem and understanding when to work on your perspective. Are you assuming positive intentions from your partner, or are you refusing to be curious about how they see a situation? What would happen if you chose to be curious and open instead of defensive?
“I propose to you that your relationship, just like your business, can be your deepest place of growth and healing.”
Even Maggie admits that she has her moments of stubbornness in her relationship, but she also explains that a conversation without an open mind and heart will always end in a fight. Consider practicing opening your heart in small conversations, and work together with your partner to become comfortable with approaching the big topics with a willingness to listen.
“You don’t even start the conversation until you’re ready for any answer.”
The big conversations are not a race, and your relationship does not have to include everything all at once. Maggie encourages her clients to not get caught in the trap of discussing every issue at once in their relationships. Even starting as simple and small as one day at a time can transform the way you communicate with one another and unlock intimacy.
“A fight you don’t start is a fight you don’t have to recover from.”
While many women may feel the instinct to do the opposite, Maggie wants to point out that the most loving thing you can do is hold your own space in your relationship and in the conversations you have with your partner. If you both matter in every conversation, then you both have the opportunity to grow, learn, and love together as equals.
“Your partner is just feeling lucky that you even looked at them twice, and they don’t want to mess it up….We label their behavior in a lot of ways that aren’t useful.”
I’ve discussed the importance of nervous system regulation in entrepreneurship before, but Maggie makes it clear that the same thing applies whether you’re at the office or in the bedroom. Especially when gearing up to discuss the difficult concepts of business and money with your partner, make sure you’re both coming from a calm and centered place.
“The most powerful thing we can do that we can control is to include ourselves as if we matter in the conversation, not above or below anyone.”
The Residency is a 12-month, cohort-based program specifically built to help first-generation entrepreneurs gain the business acuity and mental-emotional maturity to build their next high-impact, high-profit asset…and whatever else they want for the rest of their lives. Join the email list HERE to get application details for the next cohort.
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